Speaking of Children behaving differently with different people...

Got a note from my mom this morning.  The kids have been up there in NJ with them for 2 weeks now.  I received ONE phone call (and it was a happy one), and Matt got none for the entire time.  We got a letter from The Boy last night, written on my dad's old company letterhead that made both of cackle, but otherwise nothing.  Here's the roundup:


"Okay, so I didn’t do anything in Chore Wars.

Clueless Wonder: 

Mowed the lawn three times

Helped with yard clean up twice

Emptied dishwasher every day

Didn’t give anybody any sh*# ever

Helped cook several meals with Granpop

Ate some of anything we put in front of her and did not throw up.  (It was close once).  :)

She is learning MS Smallbasic on her own.  (Has done some programming and is more than halfway through the introduction to the Smallbasic book).

She watched all of the Firefly series, Serenity and the 10 year reunion.  Loved them all.

At Carlucci’s the both loved the Focaccia bread with sauce on it.  They didn't like the puff bread with lots of garlic on it.

The both loved Golden Corral and were happy to go again.  SG ate a hushpuppy and tried caramel and hot fudge with vanilla ice cream.  Liked the fudge.

CW loved the lemon pie-lets.  She had them both times she went.

She helped make taco filling and they both ate it with either sour cream, mild taco bell sauce and/or cheese.  They had them in toasted taco shells.

SG now eats his hot dog with yellow mustard.  He tried pickle relish and doesn't dislike it.  He also ate a cheese burger without knowing it until he was half done.  He ate the rest no problem.

CW made egg salad and tried it.

They both tried macaroni salad and potato salad.

CW helped make tomato sauce.  They also made pizza and ate it.

At the Chinese buffet CW tried all of the chicken offerings and ate the salmon and didn’t even remember it.  She tried the crab wrapped in bacon and ate half of it.

SG ate something, probably chicken fingers.

Screaming Genius:

Cleaned up after himself daily

Did whatever he was asked

Helped with yard clean up twice

Did not mow the lawn

Didn't give anybody any crap ever

Started a monthly chart re wet/dry diapers

Ate some of anything we put in front of him

He eats dried apricots, oatmeal cookies and Raisin Bran cereal with extra raisins and of course the fiber bars.

We went to the movies twice.  We saw Spickle me II and Monsters University.  We went to the Aquarium in Camden and had a ball.  We went to Philadelphia to see the Liberty Bell and more but it was tooooo hot so we just saw the Liberty bell and the Mint.  When they come back after Christmas we are going back to Philly to see more stuff.

They also had lots of down time to play and chill.  All in all I think they had a good time.  CW probably didn't read enough but I will leave that for you.:):)

Hope you had a good time and didn't have to pay tooo much for whatever Matt broke.  Oh, by the way, the water dispenser cannot be fixed on our fridge.  

See you tomorrow!

Love you,  Mom"



Wow.  I'm pretty sure that the body snatchers got my kids...

A Strict Moral Compass

So, one of the problems that were encountered this year by us, The Boy and his teachers was that he's very black and white when it comes to rules.  He prefers to construct his own rules - usually to be changed as soon as he realizes exactly how they've restricted him.  But when there are rules set out in school - oh boy look out.  Frequently his issues at school were (it seems) situations in which SOMEONE wasn't doing what they were supposed to be doing, and he attempted to correct them, which resulted in him getting in trouble.  One rule that he apparently is completely unable to comply with is that you are NOT supposed to look under the bathroom stalls at your neighbors.  We're working on that.  Another bathroom related fiasco-inducing rule, is that nothing is to be put in toilets that doesn't belong there.  This of course becomes a problem when OTHER students put things in the toilet, like, say a Weekly Reader.  SG beholds the horror that is something not bodily-waste-related in the toilet, and can't help himself but to pull it out and go show it to a teacher.  Who, understandably, recoils in horror, sighs and explains YET AGAIN that he's not to pull things OUT of the toilet, and to go wash his hands RIGHT NOW.  NOW!  NO I don't know who did it, put it in the garbage and go wash your hands!


I'm not entirely sure, but I think that a career in law enforcement might be a good fit for him.

Mean Girls

So, I read Mary Pipher's, "Reviving Ophelia" a while back and CW was "sneaking" passages of it when she found it on my nightstand.  She came to me with questions and we talked about what she'd read.  I told her that while I needed to finish reading it myself and decide IF it was appropriate for her, I was fairly certain that I wanted her to read it.  One reason I wanted her to read it is that in reality, she IS an entitled white girl on her way into the teen years and she need(s/ed) to understand how nice her life really is.  Yes, we make her clean her own bathroom, and do chores and be responsible about things and people, etc.  But really?  She's not growing up in poverty by a long shot, she's not being abused, no on in her life has died, she doesn't remember anyone in her life being terminally ill and she has tons of opportunities to experience new things.  Her life is pretty damn good even though she doesn't have a dedicated gaming platform of any type or a smartphone.  (the HORROR!)  I mean good god, the girl has grandparents on both coasts who can take turns challenging her and spoiling her, and family all over the country to visit.

Anyway, I digress.  I had given her Emily Bazelon's, "Sticks and Stones" to read after I was done with it.  So when she asked me if she could see the movie "Mean Girls" (loosely adapted from "Queen Bees and Wannabes")I figured that the curiosity had come from there.  I was wrong, she'd seen a clip of it on YouTube and was sucked in.  Whatever.  I recorded it, and screened it to make sure that nothing was totally out of her league.  It was fine, right on the edge, but fine, so she and I watched it yesterday.  One moment, when the plastics are on-stage dancing suggestively, I paused it and said, "You know that pretty much EVERYTHING they do is wrong, right?"  She started laughing and agreed, "Yeah, mom, I know!"

The crowning jewel though, was when the camera pans past Regina's (the Queen Bee) little sister in the background, who is somewhere around 10 years old, watching "Girls Gone Wild" and practicing by flashing her undershirted chest at the TV.   CW damn near choked.

"WHAT ARE THEY DOING!?  WHAT IS SHE DOING!?"

That was one of those pop quiz moments - and she totally passed the quiz with flying colors from that reaction alone.  Not only did she have the appropriate response, BUT she got extra credit for not verbalizing her full reaction which was pretty obviously, "WTF!?"

What the-?! Wednesday...It's Thursday Already?!

So, I got an email yesterday afternoon from SG's Classroom Instructional Assistant yesterday (She's also my PTA Pres/Treas, a neighbor, and a mom of one of CW's classmates).  He apparently did not get over his issues with the chicken nuggets that Matt packed for his lunch yesterday morning.  He sat there and smashed them with his fist, proclaiming that he didn't like THOSE nuggets.

The offensive Nuggets

 We've been packing Lunchables brand Chicken Nuggets for him all year (not every day, but they are one of his staples).  Giant is no longer carrying them.  We haven't been to WalMart lately - because thank god, THEY still carry them.  So, Matt picked up Tysons precooked nuggets, because apparently he'd had a stroke, and memory loss and he failed to realize that this is the Screaming Genius he's packing a lunch for.  I just don't know.  He put them in SG's Darth "Dader"  lunch box and The Fit ensued, only to be stopped when I threatened him with the loss of a toy.  I meant to email his IA and Teacher about the possibility of utter insanity at lunch, I really did, but I got busy and forgot.  I had PTA lollipops to sell!  Priorities here!

So I got this picture in my email.  He was an absolute disaster yesterday, largely due to the fact that he'd declared Jihad on the Tyson's nuggets, and hence had no protein to get him through the school day.  He got home, and we chucked a toy (there was also something about him throwing a book across the classroom and ending up in the Thinking Chair).  Then instead of making his bed when I sent him up, he passed out on it.  This of course meant that he was EVEN MORE of a disaster when it was time for he and Matt to go to allergy shots.  His shoes weren't tight enough.  He didn't want to.  His nose was running.  He wanted something to eat.  No not that.  Not that either.  I don't know WHAT I want, but it's not going to be what you're offering, dammit!  He couldn't stand up.  He couldn't walk.  NoooOOOOO!

SO, since Matt was going to be out and about with him, I volunteered to be Bad Guy and marched him out to the car - since he simply stood on the stoop when I pushed him out the front door, and didn't follow Matt to the car.  He ended up backing down the front walk, only moving when I stepped toward him.  When he got to the sidewalk he started crab walking to get to the car.  *sigh*  I buckled him in, yelled at him some more and then prayed that they wouldn't have some sort of fatal accident since I hadn't said I loved him.  Oy.

It's been a long time since he's had a day like that.  I'm so glad he's growing up and out of this crap.  I also can't decide if some of this is because his Betrothed moved away over spring break.  I don't want to bring it up in case it's NOT a problem, but I'm thinking about it...

edit 11:08am:  Matt also pointed out that at least one of his in-the-classroom-classmates moved over spring break as well...so there's ANOTHER void in his school day.

Life in the 'hood...

So, apparently CW's class (the 6th grade) is giving unholy hell to the teachers and admin at school.  There's 112 of them, and they seem at this point to be dropping like flies (it's a good thing, trust me).  Between what I hear from CW and from those in positions of authority at school, MY kid is kind weird in that she's not dating, doesn't have an attitude problem, etc.   How bad is it when you're HAPPY that your 12 year old is a little weird.

Two girls, new this year from the NYC area, and apparently troublesome from the beginning, got caught giving - what was termed as - lap dances ON THE BUS.  Both were suspended, one has been expelled according to CW, and the other is still in process.

A third girl was involved in some sort of physical altercation, that involved popping a substitute teacher in the face because she would not calm down.  As far as CW knows  - and this could purely be gossip - she's likely to get expelled as well.

THEN, Thursday TBaS and another boy whom annoys the bejeesus out of CW got in trouble.  She claims ignorance of how exactly TBaS was involved, but the other boy was apparently poking CW's BFF in the breasts with a ruler.  Yeah.  I say that ignorance is claimed, because as you may recall, both CW and her BFF have crushes (to some extent or another) on TBaS.  So there's pretty obviously the possibility that one or both of them is in denial about his involvement.  Whatever happened, both boys apparently got suspended.

Awesomeness, thy name is unsupervised adolescence.

What the - Wednesday

So here is today's, any ideas on this one?

What the - Wednesday

 So, we get stuff sent home from school most every Tuesday in these yellow Tyvek envelopes.  Lately, these perplexing pictures have been coming home and sparking conversation...what do YOU think this is?

So, SG is in the shower this morning, and he tells me that the boy across the street - He Who Speaks No English - "Pointed his finger up and said a bad word," the other day.  Upon further questioning it turned out that yes, it WAS the middle finger, and the word (repeated only upon my agreement that he would NOT get in trouble for saying it just this once) was the M*****F***** word.  So, yeah.  SOMEONE has taught the boy some English.  Out of a certain textbook.

Where's my Shotgun? Part 2

So This Boy at School (TBaS), apparently hugged her last week while they were all waiting to get on the buses to go home last week.  Unfortunately for our society, my first thought was, "and he didn't get nailed for sexual harassment?" (It was my mother's first comment as well when I relayed to her).

Predictably, and understandably she asked me what this meant.  So we went through the whole rigmarole of, "Well, he likes you.  Whether that's only as a friend or Likes you, likes you, blah blah blah."

Fast forward to yesterday, when she told both her father and I separately what had occurred that day at school.  Are you ready for this?  Now, remember that TBaS is the one who kept offering her his chair in class, something I was delighted about because it likely meant that he was at least aware of chivalrous manners.  So, they're on the playground yesterday and she apparently communicated that she was cold.  (I calling shenanigans on that since she's ALWAYS telling us that she's not cold).  He gave her his coat!  During the transfer of said article of clothing and symbolism, a PIN fell out of the pockets.  A little button pin - a Piece of Flair as it were - that she picked up and tried to give back to him.  A PIN which he wouldn't take.  At this point in her story I've got Bye-Bye Birdie's "The Telephone Hour" running through my head.

So, she's apparently heard from somewhat reliable sources on the playground, that he likes her.  He ALSO likes her BFF (who has her very own crush on TBaS).  Oh the drama.  Thankfully NOT with Jazz Hands just yet.

Mr. Whonow?

As she's coming downstairs:
"...Mr. (unintelligible)haha rearranged the tables in his room."

I haven't had too much of my coffee yet (and it's only half-caf anyway) so I'm assuming that she's assigned  Screaming Genius  a new nickname and is tattling on him.  So I'm trying to figure out what furniture (tables!?)are in Screaming Genius' room that he could move around.  There AREN'T any.

So I frown at her, "What?"

"At school?  The new Sub moved the tables around and I was having trouble figuring out where I sit..."

Ohhhhhhh, I get it.

...and now something completely different!

Today was one of those mornings that he's just THE most loving, affectionate little kid you've ever seen.  Six o'clock and I'm sitting on my bed stretching as he wanders in in his too-small footie pajamas.  His little face splits into a delighted grin and he immediately climbs into my lap, straddling me, and plasters himself to me.  Once he gets situated and shoves his face into my neck he sighs, "Good Morning, Mom."

When, after a minute or two, he still showed no signs of moving I asked how he was doing this morning.  I got a euphoric, "Good," as my answer.  Eventually I asked what he was doing (like I didn't know, but hey, I like to hear it).

"I'm just loving you, Mom."  Slightly muffled, still euphoric, face still buried in my neck.

"Oh, okay.  I love you too.  Always and forever."  :)

"Yes.  Always and forever.  But sometimes I get angry at you.  But not right now.  I just love you right now."

"Getting angry is okay, it doesn't mean that we don't love each other."

"Yeah." He sighs.

I adore that kid.  :)

Whiplash

The thing is, you THINK he's a normal little boy.  That's part of the Genius at work.  As long as things are going along in a manner that HE's happy with, things are fine.  It's when he doesn't agree with the proceedings that there's a problem.  It could be something big like a bedtime, or a trip to the doctor, but most times it's something little - like the time he freaked out that I'd ordered a six piece McNugget happy meal instead of four.  Matt had for some reason not been able to take the kids up to The Studio himself, so I took them up that afternoon.  Part of the routine is that the kids get dinner at either the McDonald's or the Wendy's right there before the drive home, since they don't get home until seven o'clock at the earliest, and it's a school night.

 Oh my god he was SO angry.  "MO-OM I ONLY WANTED FO-UR!!  I DON'T WANT SI-IX!!  THAT'S TOO MAA-NNY!" I told him that he didn't have to eat all six if he didn't want to.  No dice, still wailing and kicking the back of my seat.  CW informed me that, "The last time, he'd only wanted a four piece meal."  Why did no one tell me this?  Because it didn't seem like it would be a problem - why would it?  Nor was it a pattern - this was apparently only the second time in recent history he'd wanted four McNuggets.

So, after several minutes of Banshee Boy in the back, we finally get up to the second window and the employee hands out the food.  I, being the flexible mom that I am  (and remembering the time that he expressed displeasure in the car over his Burger King Nuggets when he was three - he threw them at me one at a time), reach into the happy meal, snatch out two  McNuggets, close everything back up and hand it off.  The howls in the back of the car subside to a mere grumpy growl while he inspects his food.  I'm stuffing the contraband  McNuggets in my mouth and I hear, "OH!  They only gave me FOUR!  SEE mom, I got FOUR, not SIX.  I didn't WANT SIX  I wanted four.  And they gave me FOUR!!"

"Mmhm!  *chew chew swallow* How about THAT!  It's like they knew!"  I didn't DARE tell him that I'd taken the  McNuggets.  God knows what THAT would have stirred up.  And now we ask him how many he wants us to order.

Where's my Shotgun?

So there's a boy at school.

Against ALL odds, he's actually TALLER than CW.  And one of her friends likes him, so she's actively refusing to be interested in him - I think.  They seem to be friends, I'd actually observed them in Orchestra one day sharing music when CW had forgotten to bring hers.  Seems like a nice kid.  A couple of weeks ago she tells me about how her friend likes him, or maybe she was telling me about him trying to weird her out and asking if he's succeeded, I don't know which one came first - it doesn't really matter.  I start to giggle and tell her that while, yes, he cold just see her as a friend, it was kind of sounding as though he *likes* her.  Actually, the weirding  out part of the conversation must have come first, because it was AFTER I'd said this that she looked all shocked and confessed that her friend liked him.  I reitereated that he may just be CW's friend and hence, no problem.  We were still laughing and talking about this when our chiropractor Dr. W, came in.  I related the incident and asked HIM about it, and he kind of smacked his head and agreed that it's entirely possible that the boy likes CW.

Fast forward to last Friday (also at the chiropractor's office) and she's relating a bit about how for some reason or another, there was no chair at one desk/station the other day, and CW swapped with another friend, leaving CW without a chair.  COINCIDENTALLY she'd ended up next to the boy.  *rolls eyes and sighs*  So he apparently offered her his chair multiple times.  *Smacks forehead*

So THEN, she tells me how she was asking him the other day if he's got a crush on anyone!  She says she was trying to find out if he liked her friend.  *Head Desk*  I asked her how SHE would feel if the object of her crush walked up and asked her if she had a crush on someone.  Doofus.

Now, I was particularly clueless about this type of thing in school, I mean, really, I only ever had 3 boyfriends before Matt, and I was unaware of any boys LIKING me in school.  So, as I tell her that I *think* he might like her, I keep reminding her that he may just think she's a good friend.

Either way, I'm glad we got her to The Studio.  Have I mentioned that she's testing for her Green Belt in a couple of weeks?  :)  'Cause, she is.

Cycles anyone?

CW seems to have this thing where about every 2-4 months she completely loses her s***, turns into a raving B****, and has to be dealt with.  Suddenly, No one understands her!  She's got too much on her plate!  She doesn't like physical contact!  She needs to be alone!  *sob*

We had one of those on New Year's Eve.  My normal response when she starts getting b****y is to start restricting alone time and or computer time, since most often it seems that her lack of interpersonal skills is what's causing her to sound like a melodramatic, attitudinal, hormonally wrecked teenager.  Eventually though, she breaks down and we can have an actual conversation about what's going on in her head.  This time I had to remove her e-reader (and hence music-in-her-room) privileges before she cracked.  She needed a refresher on dealing with stress, and a blunt reminder that pacing around her room in the dark TALKING to herself and listening to angst-y music is not really the best thing she can be doing for herself (especially since she's "sometimes not sure if she's going insane"), since it was quite obviously NOT working.  That was something else we talked about - stopping to re-evaluate the situation and her responses, i.e., NOTICE when what she's doing to try and cope isn't working, and either try something else, or ask for help.

We reiterated that physical activity is a GREAT outlet, and that that's one of the many reasons we had her start walking on the treadmill in the mornings before school.  We'd wanted to get her into a good life habit early on (and it seems like she has), that would help her deal with stress, among other things.  We talked about going to the Studio, and how Daddy adores being able to punch and take punches without having to hold back.

We talked about the possibility of S.A.D., and how spending lots of time in the dark might be exacerbating it, if it IS an issue for her.  I pointed out the fact that we've got the full spectrum light bulbs in the house, during the winter in particular, to help combat that in me.  I offered the option of a therapist if she wanted (she most adamantly does not).  And as always we told her that she can talk to us about anything, and while yes, we may get angry or upset at first, we'll work through the issue, whatever it is.

I love that girl, but sometimes man...  *sigh*

So that happened.

At one point over Christmas Break, SG had gone out to play, and ended up at a buddies house.  A couple of hours later I thought we should probably call him home - since I know how I feel when the neighborhood kids are in the house on impromptu playdates for several hours.  So I called his phone.  I nearly had a heart attack when he answered screaming that he was locked in a closet.  Long story short, he'd taken offense at something one of the girls had said about him, and instead of LEAVING like he should have, he went into the nearest closet and accidentally locked himself him.  He'd hung up on me while in the middle of screaming that he was locked into the closet, and then he failed to ANSWER the phone after he'd gotten out and was running home.

Matt had left as soon as we found out he was trapped in a closet (the kids he'd been playing with had been sent to our house to get us and were out on our front walk when he left), and actually got over there after SG was out.  He talked to the parents, apologies on both sides, etc.  And the Boy is not allowed out right now without parental supervision since he demonstrated bad judgment both in handling a playtime situation, and three separate bad decisions regarding the phone.

So, was it a coincidence that I thought about calling him when he was starting to panic?  ;)

Six isn't much better than Five.

The bunch of us went in for our allergy shots yesterday evening.  It went about the way it always does:
SG's coat was on the chair next to Matt's, and there was another open chair next to SG's.  I moved SG's coat to the second chair and sat down next to Matt (because the seating is really tight in this office and I'd rather be squished up against Matt than be invading another mom's personal space), which prompted a fit of righteous Kindergarten indignation on SG's part.

"MOM!  I was sitting there first!"  He spluttered.  Fabulous, he called me on it.  Bad behavior that THEY'RE not supposed to display, being displayed by mom.  w00t.

"I know, sweetheart, but you weren't actually sitting there and I'd like to sit next to Daddy."

"Mo-om! I was sitting there fir-rst!" Whiney whiney.  We went back and forth a couple more times, at which point my name was called for my shot, and I very deliberately put my book down on the chair in dispute, while staring at him.

When I got back, he'd switched our stuff back to the way he thought it should be.  At which point I stopped the dispute since the family occupying the corner batch of chairs had left, leaving me with a choice of about 6 different chairs.  CW and I moved over there into the corner and buried our noses in our books.  This did not sit well with SG.  Having lost the fight by default, he was irritated that I was not now sitting next to him.
 So he argued a little bit about it from his chair, and then danced over to me and tried to argue some more, all while brandishing Bumblebee at me.

At this point I got annoyed enough to comment to him what a FUSS he'd made over sitting in that chair, so why wasn't he in it?  Not much of an answer was forthcoming, so I told him that since he HAD made such a fuss about the chair he needed to SIT IN IT.  Queue the crabbing on his part.

"If you do not sit in that chair, you will NOT be getting cookies from the store.  Got it?" *Gasp*  ...and suddenly his little butt was on the chair.  YES!  Go me!!  :)

At least three more times in the next 30 minutes he got up and was playing, and every time I saw him do it I reminded him about the Fuss Over The Chair, and the cookies.   Eventually I hear him grump very quietly to Matt, "Dad?  Can it just be us next time?  Just you and me?"

Matt and I had to squelch the giggles over the fact that SG was really not very happy with me right then and was obviously trying to leave me behind the next time so I wouldn't be such a downer.  :)

Score.  ;)

...and We shall call them Resolutions!

So, I think I'm going to have to write more my since other sanity saver is probably causing problems. It seems (this has NOT been run past a doctor yet) that I may possibly be intolerant of, sensitive, or outright allergic to at least some forms ("Dammit woman, get to the POINT already!") of Alcohol. There. I said it. We're thinking that given the incredible amounts (for me anyway) of alcohol I've consumed over the past year that perhaps I'm developing an issue with it. Hives, to be exact. Yay.

So. Off alcohol entirely, back to Atkins and the treadmill and hopefully I'll be healthier this year. I won't say that my health couldn't get much worse, because I know it certainly could. But it could be better.

Anyway, Winter break was good, mostly. Both kids seemed ready to get back to school, thankfully, because WOW we needed to get them back out of the house. SG had several "accidents" over the past couple of weeks, and since Grounding had become a way of life for him, we shifted gears and went to throwing out toys instead of any other punishment. We've also been very careful to wrap in positive reinforcement as well. AND timers. He needs timers. I remember going through this with CW at about this age (not the accidents, but the need for timers...although, come to think of it, she still needs them) and timers, stupid little ticking and ringing kitchen timers, being REALLY helpful. So, timers are all over the house right now. Mostly in the bathrooms, but I may end up buying more... :)